I am currently attending a class that is studying the books of Jeremiah and Lamentations in the Old Testament. Jeremiah (650-570 BC) was a prophet who spent his lifetime with the unenviable assignment from God to proclaim to the nation of Judah that they would suffer famine, foreign conquest, plunder, and captivity in a land of strangers. In fact, God would not even allow Jeremiah to marry and have children (see Jeremiah 16:1-4):
Then the word of the Lord came to me: “You must not marry and have sons or daughters in this place.” For this is what the Lord says about the sons and daughters born in this land and about the women who are their mothers and the men who are their fathers: “They will die of deadly diseases. They will not be mourned or buried but will be like dung lying on the ground. They will perish by sword and famine, and their dead bodies will become food for the birds and the wild animals.”
I mention the above to state the kind of condition the people and rulers of Judah were in, and the type of destruction that was facing them (and all that Jeremiah prophesied did actually happened when Judah was crushed in 587-586 BC). As one can imagine, Jeremiah’s message over a period of many years was met with much anger, hatred and disbelief, and he was treated horribly throughout his life. In Jeremiah 15:15-21 (the following is taken from The Message Bible), he actually breaks down from everything being done to him and he complains to God:
You know where I am, God! Remember what I’m doing here!
Take my side against my detractors.
Don’t stand back while they ruin me.
Just look at the abuse I’m taking!
When your words showed up, I ate them—
swallowed them whole. What a feast!
What delight I took in being yours,
O God, God-of-the-Angel-Armies!
I never joined the party crowd
in their laughter and their fun.
Led by you, I went off by myself.
You’d filled me with indignation. Their sin had me seething.
But why, why this chronic pain,
this ever worsening wound and no healing in sight?
You’re nothing, God, but a mirage,
a lovely oasis in the distance—and then nothing!
This is how God answered me:
“Take back those words, and I’ll take you back.
Then you’ll stand tall before me.
Use words truly and well. Don’t stoop to cheap whining.
Then, but only then, you’ll speak for me.
Let your words change them.
Don’t change your words to suit them.
I’ll turn you into a steel wall,
a thick steel wall, impregnable.
They’ll attack you but won’t put a dent in you
because I’m at your side, defending and delivering.”
God’s Decree.
“I’ll deliver you from the grip of the wicked.
I’ll get you out of the clutch of the ruthless.”
The quote in that passage that jumped off the page to me is found in verses 19-21:
“Take back those words, and I’ll take you back.
Then you’ll stand tall before me.
Use words truly and well. Don’t stoop to cheap whining.
Then, but only then, you’ll speak for me….”
Cheap whining… As I read those words I realized something I have been doing for longer then I care to remember in my own life. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve complained to God about what happened when I lost that job back in 2009 and I never found another job after that point, I’d be rich (sort of, I guess–I’ve whined a lot). I have stumbled over what happened more times then I can count. And as many times as I’ve read the verses that tell us to “forget the past” (Phil. 3:13-14 comes to mind) and move on, I find myself stumbling over and over again regarding what happened in 2009 and how it forever changed my life, and not for the better (at least what I thought would be better) going forward.
Well, despite reading all of the horrible stuff in Jeremiah (I do have assignments that I have to read for that class), when I read Jeremiah’s complaint to God and God’s response to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 15:15-21–especially the words “cheap whining,” it was like a “light bulb” moment for me, and I realized I needed to do what God told Jeremiah to do, to “take back those words, and I’ll take you back. Then you’ll stand tall before me.” In other words I need to stop whining to God, and, as the NIV states, “to repent.”
As an Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah had a horrible life (but God always came through for him) and my life doesn’t even come close to all he had to go through, even during the past 14 years when I never found work again and all that has taken place since then. It is time for me to finally let go of that root of bitterness.
So, I got very serious about it, and I fasted for 24 hours, starting from sunset Friday night to sunset Saturday night in accordance with Jewish custom and the Hebrew calendar–a new day starts at sundown. This (fasting) is something I started doing back in 2012 when I studied Jewish customs and holidays (although I am not Jewish). I spent this time of fasting by praying and repenting and in general letting go of all of the hard feelings that have been so hard to let go of. And do you know what? When I woke up this morning (the fast ended last night at sundown), I felt totally revived and new–it’s hard to put into words, but it felt like a ton of bricks had finally been lifted off my shoulders.
I wanted to pass this along to any readers who need to let go of something that they haven’t been totally able to let go for years or even decades. And now, like God stated to Jeremiah, I can stand tall before God again. I know He has always been there for me, and I know He knows everything about me even before it happens. So I’m finally done bringing it up again….
The past . . .
Is finally . . .
IN THE PAST . . . .
YouTube Video: “Don’t Count Me Out” by Jermaine Edwards:
Sara's Reflections 